Insights Unlocked

When Your Values Walk into the Room Before You Do…and Create Havoc

You’re about to interview a 47-year-old male accused of sexually abusing multiple children over several years. The allegations are detailed. The victims are young. The evidence suggests a pattern of manipulation and grooming. You’ve reviewed the file. You know what he’s accused of. And you are about to walk into that interview room. Let me […]

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How We Fail at Difficult Conversations (And One Way to Succeed)

Most difficult conversations fail before they even begin. Not because of what gets said, but because of what we’re trying to do when we’re saying it. In any conversation – whether you’re an FBI agent conducting a challenging interview, a manager addressing performance issues, or a parent talking to a teenager – you’re doing one

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How Stress Destroys Decision-Making: What Extreme Cases Teach Us About Everyday Communication

I recently worked with an ABC crew filming episodes for their series The Interrogation Room, analyzing high-profile interrogations. One case in particular – the Chris Watts interview – raised a question that’s relevant far beyond criminal investigation: What brings a seemingly normal person to make a catastrophically irrational decision? The easy answer is to label

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The Blind Spot in Communication: Why Smart People Miss What’s Obvious to Others

Ninety-three percent of us believe we’re above-average drivers. Statistically impossible, of course, but it reflects something wonderful and problematic about being human: we persistently experience a world in which we are above average. This same superiority bias shows up consistently in how leaders assess their communication abilities. In twenty-plus years of teaching executives and professionals,

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Why You Attack Good Ideas: The Neuroscience of Conversational Self-Sabotage

You’re in a meeting. A colleague proposes a solution to a problem your team is facing. Something about it immediately irritates you – maybe the tone, maybe that this person is getting attention, maybe just that you didn’t think of it first. Before you’ve consciously processed the idea’s merits, you’re already formulating your critique. Or

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